For days now, I have been seeing, feeling, receiving reminders from within me, and also from outside myself, to recognize that clearing and focusing my mind is not sufficient to produce the results I am desiring. For that, I must engage the energy of creation, the energy of what already exists just beyond my perception.
I have learned this before. I think I should know it, do it, easily, effortlessly, elegantly. But I cannot remember, cannot grasp how I ever achieved it before. How to Focus and Flow, Hold and Release? Simultaneously? How can I be spirit and form at once?
This is a paradox I cannot fathom.
In the park, I sit under a huge elm tree, whose branches and roots extend far past its trunk and my body resting against it. I am in its shade and I am embraced by its singular energy. The leaves extend outward and shape a frame for my view of the lake and sky on the horizon. The water moves continuously in ripples and waves that appear autonomous, separate from each other.
I watch them and think of the breeze playing with the surface, and the currents pulling below, of the great liquid body that responds in tides to the face of the moon.
Suddenly, wordlessly, I understand. The paradox is no more.